Fear

I went to a new hairdresser last week. While she was washing my hair, she asked what shampoo I usually used. More specifically, whether it was a supermarket brand.

In that moment, I knew I was supposed to feel embarrassed. I smiled awkwardly and said something vague.

“Oh….I don’t really remember. I change brands quite often.”

Which is true. I do change brands often. Mostly between supermarket brands.

She launched into a well-rehearsed explanation about parabens, sulphates, silicones and all the reasons supermarket shampoos were ruining my hair and wasting my money. Fortunately, they happened to have a salon shampoo on special that day.

I didn’t buy it.  

The shampoo or the shame.

But I’ve thought about that conversation a few times since. Not because of the shampoo. Because of the shame.

It made me think about the values I want to build Northwards upon, and the kind of voice I want to add to the world.

 I know I don’t want it to be fear.

Fear seems to have become one of the most powerful tools in modern marketing. We’re told to identify people’s “pain points”. To create urgency. To convince people that something is wrong and then offer the solution.

And it works! I get it. Fear is persuasive. Fear does propel us into taking action.

But I find myself wondering whether fear is the only thing that moves us. Or whether we’ve simply become so accustomed to it, that we’ve stopped noticing it.

Fear finds its way into so many corners of our lives

We save because we’re afraid of not having enough.

We work because we’re afraid of failing.

We say yes because we’re afraid of disappointing someone.

We stay silent because we’re afraid of being judged.

We buy things because we’re afraid we’re not enough.

Sometimes it’s shampoo.

When I look at the fitness industry, I see fear almost everywhere.

Fear of not looking the way we think we should.

Fear of ageing.

Fear of disease.

Fear of weight gain.

Fear of judgement.

Fear of not being enough.

Fear of being too much.

 Fear that we’ve left it too late.

And yes, sometimes fear is wise. Sometimes it protects us. Fear is incredibly effective because it gets our attention.

Fear gets us to the starting line.

But I’m not convinced it’s the best companion for the journey.

What if there was another way? What if the motivation wasn’t about escaping something, but instead, moving towards something?

What if joy could move us just as powerfully as fear?

What if we stopped moving away from fear, and started moving towards joy?

The joy of moving your body; the joy of having strength in your muscles; the joy of reconnection; the joy remembering that you are a body that was made to move; the joy in realising it's never too late.

Because while fear might persuade us to begin, I suspect joy is what keeps us going…